Bill and I were driving home from the store the other day, the very epitome of middle age, in our big club cab pickup. He's driving, I'm sitting there thinking. I said, "you're a smart old guy, do you have any advice I could put on my blog?"
His reply, "Learn to love life, respect old women, and join the church."
I just stared at him for a minute, sighed, and said, "No, I mean real advice. Advice they can use. Practical advice, like don't smart off to your waiter. Never be rude to anybody who has anything to do with food you might eat. Like that."
He thought for awhile, and said, "Plant a garden."
Me: "Bill! Real advice, not stuff they already know. Stuff that will help them."
So he thought longer, we're now driving past the fields before we get home, and then he said, "Always pull the radiator cap and stick your finger in it before you buy a car. There shouldn't be any gunk on your finger. Then warm the car up drive it and then stop and check the transmission fluid. It shouldn't smell burnt. Also put your finger in the exhaust pipe, it shouldn't come out black."
He's a car salesman and he appraises a lot of cars. Now that's advice. Also, never buy a new car, buy used. A low mileage car is a better bargain than a new one. Smart rich people never buy new cars.
And I've said this before, but you should put some cigarettes in your food storage and 72 hour kits. The cheap ones, without the filters. They will be worth a lot if you get stuck in the Superdome.
Bill doesn't feel good about that, but he will, trust me.
10 comments:
*Real advice*? Are you kidding? Those of us on the bloggernagle know your beloved is a sage; after all, he was wise enough to marry you!
I think his first comments were succinct and profound.
Nice comments. I remember in boy scouts, when I had K rations, the cigarrettes always got stolen before the toilet paper.
Your husband is handsome-I get the Gregory Peck comment now.
I think he has great advice. I should plant a garden. And I asked for food storage stuff for my birthday--if that doesn't say 'getting older' I don't know what does.
I am laughing so hard about the cigs--you're an economist at heart!
You know, I wasn't trying to be funny about the cigarettes, Elizabeth, I think it's a smart thing to do. I've read so many WWII books, and prison books, and survival things and cigarettes are the premium.
When money doesn't mean much, I think they will be important bartering tools.
Stephen, why did you have K rations in scouts/
Floyd, you know, he is that old farmer kind of guy, he does those things and I love that about him.
But all the other stuff I've said about him that drive me crazy, they're true, too. Don't you find marriage is just hard?
Did you guys see oh, that show with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, the spy one? You know the part where she thinks he tried to kill her and she's going to kill him and he's saying, "stop that car, stop it right now?"
That is us. I would run over him in a second if I thought he was trying to kill me. Of course, he wouldn't, but . . .
And .22 ammo. 22 Long Rifle. Even if you don't have a gun for it. Someone will.
Oh, yes, we have ammunition, all kinds and lots of it. But that's a good idea, putting some in your kit. Maybe I'll just buy a 22 pistol, I'm thinking that would be a good idea. Thank you.
I'm serious about the cigarettes, too. I treat addicts for a living :)
That picture of your husband Bill looks like a hard-boiled detective from some TV show or movie.
He's not a hard boiled detective. He's more like Monk, although not as nice as Monk.
He drives me crazy.
Plus I don't think he ever detected anything beyond good food in his life.
Right now he's innocently sorting strawberries to freeze so he can bake rhubarb strawberry pies next winter.
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