Well, I said I was going to get a migraine today because I thought this funeral today was going to be an unorganized mess (it's going to be just fine actually) and I guess God didn't want to make a liar out of me.
I feel just awful. My ears hurt, I'm coughing, my whole body aches and I spike a fever every time I get up and walk around.
This is nothing new to me. I hate it. This Epstein-Barr, Chronic Fatigue, Fibromyalgia, whatever is actually behind this decades long illness (I'm hearing that Herpes might be the culprit, for people who have had bad cases of chicken pox as children seem vulnerable---and I had a memorable case of chicken pox) kicks my butt over and over again. My younger sister was just diagnosed with MS & Lupus, which are factored into the illness as well.
I bitch and moan and complain and whine and am not suffering with great dignity, I must say.
It would be easier if I had an illness that Dean Edell says doesn't exist except in my imagination, if there were something more conclusive than vague "I just don't feel good" symptoms. If I were in a wheelchair.
I've been telling myself lately to pretend I have some terrible illness and try to be like somebody in the movies, gallant and smiling.
I wish I were normal.