Sunday, September 10, 2006

Me and psychics

Ever since James' death, I've been addicted to psychics. I keep trying to find out why, the exact circumstances that led to his suicide. I keep trying to talk to him. So far, nothing.

I always ask about psychics in the area I'm in, and Island Park was no different. I was referred to a woman who does work for the police. She is the editor of a small local paper there, as well. She does not advertise and was a little discomfited that anyone even knew she had this gift, but agreed to meet with me.

In the first few minutes, we established that she had a definite "in" with the other side. She knew things that she simply could not have known. She didn't tell me anything new, but we made friends and she's a wonderful person and I told her if she heard from James, to get in touch with me LOL.

I don't know how many psychics I've been to. The most memorable one was a transvestite in Vegas, who was a good palm reader, a less competent psychic, but a scary looking guy. Let me tell you, he was the world's ugliest woman. I kept thinking, "if he's really psychic, he'll know what I'm thinking." I kept waiting for him to go all Bette Davis on me and come across the table with a knife. But he didn't kill me and it was another experience for my memoirs.

This psychic is something I allow myself as part of my grieving process. I've only been to one, three weeks after James' death, who comforted me. Where I felt better, almost euphoric, after. Of course it didn't last.

I've told God over and over in no uncertain terms I want to talk to my son. I've demanded and raged and shouted and cussed at Him. Silence. Well, I'll show Him.

I figure whatever gets me through the day is all good. Like most things in my life, it's entertaining for those around me, they don't know I'm dead serious. You can get away with a lot if you laugh while you do it.


Ann said...

I hope you get to talk to him.

The Wiz said...

Have you tried Char Margolis? She's a psychic on TV, and does personal readings over the phone for like, $150, I think.

I will try to find her website for you. Back in a sec...

The Wiz said...

Ok, it's, and her fee is actually $500. Ouch. Plus, you have to get on a waiting list. But if you're really into it.....whatever you need, I guess.

She has a show called Psychic at Large on the Sci Fi channel.

skl said...


A powerful post. An amazing portrayal of the intensity of a mother's love. I am grateful that you share your experiences here. They offer me inspiration. As with this post, I am often in awe of your ability to express such powerful sentiment with grace and humor.

Elizabeth-W said...

Only vaguely related, but have you seen the movie The Illusionist? It is sooo good.

Bookslinger said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Barb said...

They do say that our loved ones are so near. Maybe they communicate in ways that we do not always realize. When I get time, I am going to send you an email about something that happened after my grandpa's funeral.

Bookslinger said...

Blessings, promptings, impressions, visions, gift of discernment, gift of prophecy, etc. The restored gospel has lots of things that outsiders would call psychic.

I had some form of spiritual gifts many years before joining the true church. Therefore, I believe that some non-members who have spiritual gifts are for real. But I believe that many are fakes.

I've never had children, and I've never been a woman. But from observations, I've been sorely amazed at how women grieve over children. The closest I came to understanding was when a distraught mother handed my missionary companion and I her sick baby for a blessing.

We can't control our contacts with "the other side" in regards to dead people, but perhaps your healing could be focused more on you and your relationship with Heavenly Father and the Savior, and not so much on your departed son.

Heavenly Father, through the Holy Ghost, can answer questions, and provide comfort, without having to go directly to your son.

I think the closest thing we have to "oracles" in the church are patriarchs and going to the temple.

But as far as "psychics", I think the spiritual gifts are for everyone, especially priesthood holders. Aren't we supposed to get our own answers through prayers and priesthood blessings?

I've seen "dead people" a couple times in my life. But I don't think one can control who one sees or where one sees them.

I don't think we can control exactly which spirits are around us. Though doing the right invites angels to attend, and doing wrong invites Satan's angels.

And I think we can command unclean spirits to depart under certain conditions.

Nor can we control when the "filters" are removed from our eyes to see them.

I think the Lord is in charge of those things.

I think the best we can do is exercise faith and humility, devote ourselves to righteousness, and prepare so that we can be ready and open to spiritual gifts and blessings.

The older I get, the more I realize that Heavenly Father has been trying to bless me with gifts all along; and that my lack of faith, lack of humility, and lack of righteousness has prevented me from receiving those gifts, or from receiving them to a fuller measure.

Even when things did "come through," I often dismissed them thinking it was just my imagination, or thinking "God wouldn't do that, or tell me that."

Well, either I'm crazy, or God has told/shown me some outrageous things, or at least things that a non-believer would consider outrageous imaginations.

annegb said...

Yeah, I've checked out Char. Also a guy named David something in New York. They charge a mint and treat people sort of crappy.

Neal, I know. I know it's not the spirit. I just do it anyway. Plus I'm psychic myself. I could talk to him, but I don't let myself because I feel so much guilt. But I'm considering it lately.

I haven't seen the Illusionist, but I want to. It looks compelling. I sort of like to scare myself to death.

I tried to get Bill to go to a psychic in the park this summer to see if she said anything about James, but he refused categorically. And I just sulked and slapped him a lot.