Thursday, August 10, 2006

Happy Birthday, Dessie

Dessie is named after my grandmother. I love that name. I aspire to that name. Dessie used to be my funniest, energetic, and fun-nest sister. More talent and heart than the rest of us put together.

She's had a rough time of it the last 15 years. She began to remember abuse at the hands of my father and went off the deep end. She ended up being married three times, left her family, and met up with a couple of real jerks. Now she lives with a Catholic guy, who is a great cook, and a jerk. She says he loves her. I think he dominates her. Her relationship with her children is tenuous, careful.

When we get together, we could laugh for hours. Now Dessie takes a few extra seconds before she can process and more often just smiles quietly than her signature cackle-giggle. We used to eat the candy she shoplifted and fight the fights she would start as she--pit-bull-like--thought she was ten foot tall and bullet proof. We used to hold her down and punch her and she would laugh. That sounds so sick. But when you're poor, I guess you entertain yourself how you can.

I miss my sister. Today she turns 50. How weird it that? To have a younger sister who is the ancient age of 50. To have a younger sister who is light years older than you is sad.

6 comments:

Barb said...

May Dessie find her laughter again in her 50 + years!

Elizabeth-W said...

Happy Birthday Dessie!
Maybe she'd laugh if you let her pin you down and punch you--I'm kidding, but the idea of it might make her giggle.

annegb said...

Oh, I never beat Dessie up. Our other sister did, it was usually Dessie who started the fight.

I know I said we, but I meant Chris.

It may be hard to believe, but I'm the quiet one in my family :).

Gina said...

I just read East of Eden by Steinbeck, and there is a character in that book also named Dessie. She, too, was remarkably funny and full of life until things went wrong and her laughter died. It is a sad coincidence. I hope your sister had a nice birthday.

Elizabeth-W said...

Gina, that is soo weird. I was just going to post the exact same thing. I'm about halfway through the book, and I'd never heard the name Dessie before.

White Man Retarded said...

I woke up before Church yesterday and held my wife a little closer...I was reflecting on how fast our lives together are going. We've been together almost 14 years and I still feel like this little kid (my blogs are possible evidence:); I fear one day soon she might get sick with a life-threatening illness and I won't know how to cope or help. It is so easy to take your family for granted. "Life passing as if in a dream" or something like that in the BOM. I need to slow down...