I usually get off work by 11:30 pm; sometimes later, sometimes a little earlier. By the time I get home, take some time to gather myself and adjust, it's pretty late when I get to bed. I always have a hard time falling asleep, so maybe I'll fall asleep by 2 am. But Bill leaves for work around 8:30 am and since I leave for work at 4 pm, we don't see each other much.
I've been getting up in the mornings so we can spend the mornings together before he leaves for work, but sometimes it's really hard. If I sleep in, it bothers him. But this isn't working at all; last week I was just running on fumes all week. I will doze a bit during the day, but I can't go back to sleep proper, so I'm always sleep deprived. And there's always laundry, etc., to be done.
So yesterday, I sat him down and I said, "This isn't working. I'm so tired. How about if we switch off for a week. You stay up till I get home and we visit then."
He looked aghast. "I can't do that! I'd be exhausted."
I just looked at him.
He said, "But you can go back to bed." We've been married 27 years and he's never figured out that sleep interrupted is sleep destroyed.
I said, "So can you. You just get up at your regular time and go to work and then when you get home, you can nap till I get home." See, he figures I can just sleep when he's not around and then I'm here for him.
"But...but..." He sputtered.
"It's only for this week. Then next week, I'll get up early."
"No. I just can't do that. You can sleep in."
Well, we'll see if that happens.
I truly believe at least 50% of my resentment and discontent with my marriage is I haven't had any sleep since 1981. I haven't been permitted to sleep past 7 am in 27 1/2 years. This is a man who will wake me up to tell me good night. And then get mad and tell me to go back to sleep.
I have learned that the only way I can make him understand my point of view is object lessons. Hence, my suggestion that he stay up till 2 am every night for a week, get up at 7 am and see just how bright eyed and bushy tailed he is. See if he wants to go to the movies on his day off.