Monday, September 21, 2009

Conversation with Bill

I usually get off work by 11:30 pm; sometimes later, sometimes a little earlier. By the time I get home, take some time to gather myself and adjust, it's pretty late when I get to bed. I always have a hard time falling asleep, so maybe I'll fall asleep by 2 am. But Bill leaves for work around 8:30 am and since I leave for work at 4 pm, we don't see each other much.

I've been getting up in the mornings so we can spend the mornings together before he leaves for work, but sometimes it's really hard. If I sleep in, it bothers him. But this isn't working at all; last week I was just running on fumes all week. I will doze a bit during the day, but I can't go back to sleep proper, so I'm always sleep deprived. And there's always laundry, etc., to be done.

So yesterday, I sat him down and I said, "This isn't working. I'm so tired. How about if we switch off for a week. You stay up till I get home and we visit then."

He looked aghast. "I can't do that! I'd be exhausted."

I just looked at him.

He said, "But you can go back to bed." We've been married 27 years and he's never figured out that sleep interrupted is sleep destroyed.

I said, "So can you. You just get up at your regular time and go to work and then when you get home, you can nap till I get home." See, he figures I can just sleep when he's not around and then I'm here for him.

"But...but..." He sputtered.

"It's only for this week. Then next week, I'll get up early."

"No. I just can't do that. You can sleep in."

Well, we'll see if that happens.

I truly believe at least 50% of my resentment and discontent with my marriage is I haven't had any sleep since 1981. I haven't been permitted to sleep past 7 am in 27 1/2 years. This is a man who will wake me up to tell me good night. And then get mad and tell me to go back to sleep.

I have learned that the only way I can make him understand my point of view is object lessons. Hence, my suggestion that he stay up till 2 am every night for a week, get up at 7 am and see just how bright eyed and bushy tailed he is. See if he wants to go to the movies on his day off.


Sunshine said...

He he... that's funny. Somethings they just don't seem to understand until THEY have to make the sacrifice.

Tell us how it goes!

lifeinredshoes said...

You go girl!

cathycan said...

Amen, sista!!

annegb said...

Last night, I got home at 11:55, watched a little late night TV, ate some oreos and crashed after reading a few pages of some mystery novel. I woke myself up snoring this morning at 9 am. Didn't even hear Bill leave. Boy, that feels good. And since I've slept all night for three nights in a row, my wrinkles are fading a bit. (This is the truth, no lie)

I wouldn't be up now, except I have a drs. appt. We decided Bill will come home for lunch when he can.

Sunshine said...

ah-- great solution and everybody is happy and well rested!

Marta said...

Ah. Communication. Ain't it grand?

Marta said...

Sleep too. Sleep is grand. Good for you.