Bookslinger, here you go :)

"You suck." That's how tired I am that I actually wrote that to people on Mormon Mentality and I'm not sorry. Although I may abjectly apologize tomorrow, but I doubt it. I think they do suck.

This was my day today.....it started Saturday.

Maxwell got baptized and we are all like one great big Anne Tyler novel. Because he got baptized the same day as this kid in our ward and that was all nice, although they were almost late for the whole thing due to the fact that this family with 5 kids (and tons of company for said baptism) had only one bathroom.

And not only that....my daughter-in-law's foster father was mad because he wasn't asked to baptize Maxwell, even though he's 60 years old, only has the Aaronic priesthood and never goes to church. So he sat out in the car during the baptism.

Then Rhiannon (age 3) decided to re-distribute the programs and song sheets I'd carefully laid out and that was a trip trying to sort them out at the last minute as people came in the door.

Then Sarah came! Hi, sweetie! even though she was sick....then I look up and in comes Jessie and Jack, her boyfriend....hi again, surprise, she said Jack wasn't coming. So we went out in the hallway so I could ask if things were okay because they were fighting (she looked just beautiful by the way, all you people except Brian who is married, you suck, too, because you didn't realize what a jewel she was when I was trying to fix you up).

And at that very moment, in walks Becky, Jared's old girlfriend, who loves the kids and is for some masochistic reason, hanging out at Jared and Jamie's a lot and is bringing half the dinner for after. Jessie froze (okay, she's in a fight with Becky and Briony, I'm not sure why, it has something to do with crystal meth and Jessie trying to get clean and Jack hates them, like I said, Anne Tyler) and I smiled and said hi, but right behind her comes Briony, and I have never in my life seen Jessie snub anybody, she is the sweetest charmingest thing in our family. Sarah is the snubber--and she hates Jack and she's back in the room sitting by Jack, not looking happy.

But Jessie snubbed Briony, her former friend, without a doubt. And I was trying to explain that I didn't invite her, and Becky invited herself and Jamie's foster mom is looking grim. But you know what, I had a good time and so did the kids who got baptized and the spirit was there and one of my best friends played the piano and she cried throughout and it was wonderful.

Then we had the drama after the baptism because Jessie and Jack wouldn't come over because Becky was there, and Jamie's dad stayed outside with the kids and Sarah said it felt so tense she was going home. But the kids and Bill and me and Jamie had a good old time, and our neighbors came over and tons of food and Becky is a sweetheart, even if she should just tell Jared to stick it.

So I slept all day yesterday and got up early today to wash in my new laundry room and I got started on the bills so Bill and I could talk about them for family home evening and I ran uptown to get some folding chairs Ace Hardware had on sale.

And Sarah called and she was crying so hard she couldn't talk, which we all just sit and listen and pretend we understand her and turn the volume on the phone down and she was really sick and the lawyer had lost the divorce papers from October 6 and Nick was mad about it. Who could blame him.

Dumb lawyer. So I called Nick and told him I'd take care of it. Then I pinned Sarah down on the details "Mom, I'm sick, I don't want to talk about this!"

Me: "grow up. this isn't going to go away."

So I gave her a hug and told her I loved her and told her to rest and I went up to that lawyer's office and I sat there while the secretary re-filled out the papers and got them right and then I went over to the courthouse where I've been doing investigative journalist stuff and they all know me and I went into the courtroom and made that lawyer sign the papers and then I went to the post office and I mailed them express mail.

And I came home and we're having good chicken corn chowder and truly, Anne Tyler writes about my family every time she writes a book.

I can't believe I had to do all that and I'm going to make that lawyer pay me for the postage. Which I'll be at the courthouse all day tomorrow and you better believe I'm going to discuss it with him.

And me and Bill are selling out and moving away from our kids.