Sunday, August 05, 2007

Sarah shoulda been a blond

Sarah is a beautiful, willowy, green eyed brunette. She was the same age as the twins next door, who are black, and she thought she was black for the longest time. I never told her different, I don't know how she figured it out. Actually, she figured, quite accurately, that they were all "bwown."

But, you know, no offense to any blonds, she is the blondest brunette I know.

Today, she called me, very upset, from her new apartment, saying "Mom, tell dad he needs to come right away. I can't get the water off in the tub."

I said, "go get your landlord." Who is next door. She did, and called right back with the news that they weren't home.

"And it's the hot water, too, Mom!"

I said, "go over to the people across the street, they're nice, there has to be a water shutoff valve somewhere. Is it going down the drain?"

She said, "I'll go see. Yes. Oh. I was turning it the wrong way. It's off now."

I was very quiet because she gets mad at me when I laugh at stuff. Then she laughed. So of course I had to. I said, "If your dad had come all the way into town just to shut off your faucet, he'd've killed you."

And she told me she'd done that before. We all think she should have been born blond.

Me and Bill are going to retire in five years and we're moving away from our kids. Our grandkids will have to come see us once a year or something because I'm worn out. I don't want to be a mom anymore. Do any of you young girls realize you are going to have to mother those children until you die???Even if you're 85???


Elizabeth-W said...

AngieB, you're breaking my heart! If my mom moved away I'd just die!! Although, maybe my mom might relate to your end more than I do.
Where are ya'll thinking of going?

Ann said...

They're coming to Louisiana. She'll love the humidity. The moisture cures wrinkles, housing is not expensive, and the food is better than anywhere in the world.

annegb said...

Elizabeth, I'm sorry, didn't mean to traumatize you. I was never really close to my mother, she essentially abandoned us when I was young. She disgusted me, she sucked me dry when she was around, and she never took care of me. I WANTED my mother to disappear. I take good care of her now, but it's not a mother relationship. If anything, I'm the mom and have always been. I can't even begin to imagine what it feels like to be mothered.

So I've had no frame of reference on the mother-daughter relationship. I thought it was my job to make sure my children had underwear and shoes (things at a premium when I was a kid), to pay the bills, to feed them and not be an embarrassment to them publicly.

Of course I embarrassed them :). I'm still learning, alas, my poor kids.

Louisiana? Ann, as much as I love you, Louisiana and all souther states have alligators in the streets and they torture black people in the boondocks and give their bodies to the alligators in the swamps. I'm petrified to go south ever.

The wrinkle thing, though, that's pretty big. I might overcome my "southern state phobia" for nice skin and great food :).

Otherwise, we're going to Island park, Idaho, or Loa, Utah. Bill keeps saying we're staying right here, but this is a half acre, totally landscaped lot. He'll be 65 and we are too old for this much house and land. I want cool and quiet. I want snow.

I want my kids to handle their own problems. I'm tired of taking care of people. I'm tired, period LOL.

Barb said...

Annegb, I know that my mom still worries about her children who are all above thrity now. I wish that I was not the burden that I am. Maybe you and my mom should go on a very long vacation together!

I have done so much self-analysis to try to figure out why I am not able to function like other people and do the things that people usually take for granted. I guess that I could have saved a lot of time and introspection by just chalking it all up to my being blond lol.

Bookslinger said...

I forgot, is Sarah the same as Princess Buttgold?

Elizabeth-W said...

As a person who grew up in Houston, I say avoid it like the plague it is. They have cockroaches the size of birds there. You've already done the damage to your skin by living in the desert--it's too late now. Go to Idaho!!!
My mom and I had our issues, but they've worked themselves out as I've matured, and she's relaxed. I wouldn't say I look forward to diapering her, but I plan on doing it. If she were to move, she'd just have to move back if she wanted me to do it. I owe her big time.

k l h said...

Hi Anne - fun piece!

:^) -- k l h

[p/s Did your way-back-when (non-blood) relation turn out to have been a massacre survivor? I decided to send you a book in thanks for your help finding the St. George Spectrum article: Novak's House of Mourning--but it won't be published until 'aught-eight. Meanwhile, I had been reading your "column" over at Mormon Mentality until my computer freezing up simply by connecting to the site (as, for example, it now does with all "PDF-"labeled sites, whatever that is.

[Meanwhile, concerning the upcoming movie, there's some interesting and thoughtful back-and-forth here: ]

annegb said...

Hey, you! That is still open for debate. The family has been asked to do some DNA testing, but I think they're balking. It was a big deal in the old days, they got in trouble for even mentioning the possibility.

Don't worry about sending me anything, it was no big deal.