Tuesday, May 29, 2007

You cannot get a man to say another man is cute. Mostly.

I had the coolest talk with Daniel Bartholomew today, it's fun to "meet" people you've met on the blog. Let me see, I've met Heather Pitts and Sarebear in real life, and talked to two Lisas on the phone. FMH Lisa and Lisa's Rambling Lisa. Awesome.

But this is funny. to me. Daniel and I discussed a mutual acquaintance on the blog, a guy, and I asked, "what did he look like?" He said, "tall."

I said, "is he cute?"

He wouldn't answer. I laughed and said "woman totally notice if another woman is beautiful. If a woman goes up and bears fervent testimony, we will notice her clothes and hair."

Bill won't tell me if another man is cute, either. He literally can't describe another man except in terms of height. Sometimes weight--skinny or chubby, that's it.

I will say, "give me a break, he was standing right in front of you. You can't tell if he's homely or good-looking?"

"My mind doesn't work that way."

That's what Daniel said, too. Yeah, right. Go, girls.


Barb said...

I have a cousin who said something like she does not pay attention to whether women or pretty or not. I do notice if women are pretty and I have probably described them as such to others.

Sarebear said...

Yeah, men just don't get that.

Although I DO embarass my husband by saying, hey that girl on tv has her #@$#$% hanging out, take a look at that, geez!

hee hee.

It was fun fun fun meeting you two. Although I'm sad they demolished all those sunflowers a week after we met! There's now a Wal-Mart almost done there, ugh. I live in a Wal-Mart parking lot.


Silus Grok said...

* raises hand *

Um... I notice.

But I'm gay... so that's not helping your argument.

But there was recently a study that remarked in passing (this wasn't what they were studying, but it came up as part of the dataset) that men stare at other guy's crotches more than any other part --- including their faces.

Don't know how, exactly, that fits in with this all... but thought you should know.

Besides, it would be fun to tease Bill on that one.

: )

Silus Grok said...

Oh... here's the article...


annegb said...

Silus, that's the "mostly" caveat I added. :) I knew you were there :) I'm intrigued with the link you gave me. I wonder if that's really true. I'll have to ask Bill. He's very Puritan, though.

This is a funny story. I have a dear friend who is gay and I struggled with it when she came out. I didn't reject her, I just kept trying to convince her she was mistaken. One time she had a party showing --what is that show Tom Hanks won the Oscar for? You know what I mean?

I said, "I'm not prejudiced about AIDS, I just don't think you're really gay, but okay, I'll come." She did it just for me to expand my horizons.

So it was fun and the food was great. I sat on the floor beside a gay man friend of hers watching the movie. I thought Antonio Banderas was so cute. I said, "oh, he's hot." And the guy next to me said, "he sure is."

And we all laughed.

Sara, how are you? You know, the worst thing about living that close to Wal-Mart would be spending all my money there. I can't go in there for a stick of gum without spending $100. There is a good side, too, because of the convenience factor.

Barb, I always notice and feel envy if another woman is pretty. I especially envy women with butts that stick out because I have a flat butt like a football player. I don't notice womens boobs, I'm a butt girl. I comment sometimes "you have such a cute butt, I hate you." And my friends will turn around and say, "stop looking at my butt."

If I could get all the fat taken off my stomach, I would put it in my butt.

I don't suppose it would be appropriate for a man to envy another mans butt.

annegb said...

You know, thinking about it, I think stare is too strong a word, Silus. Don't you think "glance surrepticiously" however you spell it is a better description of what men do?

Silus Grok said...

Yeah... "stare" is too strong.

I think the word would be "size-up".

(Straight) Guys don't care how good you look... they just want to know if they could take you in a fight or a contest.

Elizabeth-W said...

I think this is hilarious. I think silus' point about who's alpha male makes sense-in the same we as women look to see who is attractive--it's still a primal competition.

Barb said...

I don't know if we are typical, but my mom and I will say some women are really cute while other women may be more pretty and some are very gorgeous in a sensual way such as Raquel Welch. I am comfortable with my looks as long as the hypothetical man of my dreams feels that I look pretty/cute/and more!

I would hope that all women feel good about who they are outside and inside. I think women can dress to flater themselves but the cut of the clothing and the color. Models don't go around looking like that all the time nor do we need to be made up like that all the time. It's fun for special occassions though.

Sarebear said...

I've been rather spiraling down, but since my my first psychiatrist closed practice Dec 1 06, I haven't had one (have an ologist for rather sporadic therapy as I can't afford it, which sucks, and that's another reason I've been getting worse; they went and switched ward boundaries on us a few weeks after I met you, and I'm too terrified to talk to the new bishop about stuff; the prev. bishop indicated that things would continue, that I needed to stay in therapy and stuff, but ya know when I can't afford it, well . . .)

Anyway! That was a novel. So I've been getting worse. Just met with my new psychiatrist the other day, and whew, he's not a mean, ill-conceived one like the last one. This one actually listens.

Just started a med yesterday that takes effect right away, that I'm sposed to play around w/the dosing until it feels right.

I upped it today. I can't explain what it's doing, it's not a feeling, it's all about the interface between my brain and my mind, my brain, mind, and the world . . . also, how do I explain something I've never experienced before? Is this what normal feels like, but I don't know what normal feels like since I never had that.

It's seriously deep trying to figure this out; it really is not a feeling; trying to sort out how the med is affecting/improving/altering/adding to the efficacy of my brain function in a slew of different areas, types of things, etc. . . . I'm thinking a sense of ME in a way I've never thinked before (the word thought doesn't fit, here; I have to invent words for an experience, a being interacting w/the world, how I've never had before; ever. How do you describe it . . . words are failing me badly.)

ANYWAY! Deepness of philosophical and other stuff going on, all mixed up w/medical and stuff, it's quite strange, really.

But then, so am I (lol).

Sorry if that all is too long for you.

On the matter of butts, I tend to ogle men's bums as there are some rather nice specimens out there. But none are as nice as my husband's!

Barb said...

Sarebear, it sounds like you have a good Pychiatrist now. I wish you could see your therapist more. Lilly of Driving Miss Molly said on her blog had a scare that she was going to lose her therapist. Then, he was able to stay! I mention that as you know her and thought this was a good place to bring it up. Such parallels with her experiences as her Psychiatrist was rather a difficult sort. I am not sure if she still has him. In regards to your new med, if your expanded feelings of self make you feel more confident and have good insights into yourself, I think that sounds like a good thing. I read a fascinating journal article that dealt with questions posed by prescribing Prozac during the early day of that drug. A woman became so transformed in ways that therapy alone would not account for in a short time. She started respecting herself and getting in healthy relationships as opposed to the destructive once she was in before. She had more confidence. She had energy for the first time. She did fine for a time when she went off the drug. Then, she felt herself slipping and told the doctor that she did not feel like her self. He pondered the meaning of that statement as she had only been on that drug for a short time in comparison to her years on the planet and yet she considered this person herself although she was so different from her former a self. I am fortunte that I know what normal feels like. And I like the feeling!

Barb said...

Sarebear, just in case you didn't get my email that I sent recently... Speaking of people that you have met in person from blogs... Did you go to Téa's blog lately to see the newest member of her family? :) You can access her blog from Ethesis if you don't remember the url. You have to click on the link when you get there as the site changed.