Thursday, October 05, 2006

How Ya Doin?

So, how's everybody doing? I'm a mess. My chronic fatigue (yes, I own it) is back again with a super vengeance, worse than before and I am a true believer in this disease. Yesterday I literally couldn't get up till after 1 pm.

The other day I had to go put my big dog back in the $8000 fence we had built, because he can climb it like a cat and does when it rains because he's a big wuss. So I drug him (or he drug me) back to the back, where I tied him up and then I hauled it back to the house just as Bill drove up. Toby, our little Butt-dog, had escaped on me, covered with mud. (Here's a couple of pictures of said dogs, we have two others. Four dogs, how crazy are we? And they are all very spoiled dogs, too. High maintenance).

I told Bill to call Toby, then I fell on the couch to catch my breath, which usually takes about ten minutes.

Instead of putting Toby back in said $8000 fence, he chose to bring him in, complaining and blustering, to give him a bath. (Bill was complaining and blustering, Toby was squirming). He yelled, "will you go get me the dog brush downstairs?"

I yelled, "no." I could have explained that I'd just come back in the house from fighting Shelby into submission and that I couldn't even breathe, let alone go downstairs, but Bill is hard of hearing, the water was running in the bathtub (I was too short of breath to protest that one) and I knew he couldn't hear me,

so I just yelled, "no."

Then he came stomping through after shutting Toby up in the bathroom, there was all this pounding and bumping going on in there, I despair for my bathroom. He went downstairs and got the brush and yelled, "what's the matter with you?" I just lied (I don't know the proper word, so I'm picking one, you get the picture) there, beyond caring, catching my breath.

My husband drives me crazy, but that's for another story. He came to himself, apologized, and the dog was all clean, my bathroom less so, but let me tell you guys, this illness is for real.

They said in chronic fatigue circles: "the good news is, you're not gonna die, and the bad news is, you're not gonna die." You don't even look like you're dying, you look in the pink, you just feel like you're dying.

Well, that's how I am, and that's why I'm falling down on the blogging job. I miss you guys. How you doing?

15 comments:

Barb said...

I had a missionary companion with Chronic Fatigue Sydrome. She had to rest by sleeping in a little later in the morning and was given permission to do so after waking up at 6 30 and then going back to sleep. I really loved serving with her. I got along with her and two other companions better than all my other companions.

It is a hard disorder. It is even harder for men in this society if they are not able to hold down a full-time job due to it.

You know I am hardly ever get edgy and I don't feel crying very often but I am a little bit of both today. I have my omega 3's in my body and also drink soy rather often. I think taking omega 3's has made me so much more lucid in recent years.

I am so glad that I am not at work today. I always try to be very perky on the job. With my customers, that is easy unless you feel over-tired or ill or edgy. When people get under my skin, I am good at holding my tongue and sometimes even turning them around to being happy campers. I don't think I could handle it today though. It is my normal day off so that worked out good. I don't think the mood will last.

Barb said...

Today Friday Oct 06, we are having company as my aunt will be visiting from Missouri. I think my baby niece is coming as well. I get so nervous and if anybody could offer a prayer that all will be well and safe, I would really appreciate it.

Barb said...

I am a day off. I meant today Thursday, October 5.

Somebody else comment on something, anything. I hate to monopolize the conversation. :)

Bookslinger said...

I sat in on a missionary discussion this afternoon. It was the third lesson for this investigator. He's also been to church on Sunday 3 times, but he didn't make conference.

These two missionaries are teaching a young man to whom I had given a pair of copies of Book of Mormon. One in his native language and one in English.

On the first lesson, the investigator said 'yes' to the missionary question "would you get baptized if you find out this is true?". And today, he expressed his belief in the gospel and his desire to get baptized.

It was cool because there was no hesitation or reluctance on his part, and there was no pushiness on my or the missionaries part.

He also said he wants to see someone else get baptized first, and also wants to get baptized when someone else gets baptized. But it didn't come across as if he was trying to get out of it, but rather that he's planning it in his mind, and wants to know in advance how it will go.

It's like this guy was ready when I met him, and as if he had been praying beforehand for something.

We had a good lesson today. The missionaries had the Spirit and taught well. The investigator volunteered some things on his own that made it even better. It was a sacred thing to be there.

Barb said...

That is great Bookslinger! Thank you for sharing the uplifting news.

annegb said...

Barb, I've just started using Omega 3 fish oil. I was having really good results with a soy based diet supplement (not a diet food, rather the opposite), but had a setback. I think I'll get back on my feet faster.

Your aunt will be in my prayers.

Neal, I envy your dedication and unwavering testimony. I love the gospel, I believe it's true, but my faith is easily shaken by the bad behavior of others. I bet God would like to shake me.

A. Nonny Mouse said...

Chronic fatigue is no good. I'm sorry Annegb.

Elizabeth-W said...

So sorry you're feeling crappy. Wish there was a simple fix.

Barb said...

Arlene, I talk fish oil supplements and also have flax seed a few days a week in cereal. We grind it right before serving as it spoils fast. I really think it helps me a lot.

When I said that I seldom feel edgy, I meant the sense of being irritable around people. I feel a little nervous most of the time and sometimes I am intensely nervous. That is different than feeling irritable. As I have said, I am often in a very good mood. I limit where I go and what I do. It is like I am used to my ocd routine when there is nothing that throws me for a loop. If my home stress level goes up, my ability to cope seems to dramatically decline. There are times when I am working at my job and feeling very confident when talking to my customers. That is a very good feeling!

Family was here last night. My Aunt Bev spent the night. My best friend Bev who lives locally, but I have not seen since about Feb of 2005, I think came by to pick up money for her daughter's fund raiser. I was able to introduce the two Beverlys. My friend ended up staying until 2 30 AM in the morning. My sister was here until pretty late too as she stayed longer than her husband and her mother and father-in-law. My brother and sister-in-law and baby Brooke were also here for a couple hours. My sister-in-law had an ultra-sound yesterday and they shared the news that it looks like Brooke and Jessica(my step-niece) are going to have a little sister!

Susan M said...

I have a thyroid problem so I think I can relate a little bit. So tired you just don't want to move even an eyelid.

Hope you're feeling better.

annegb said...

I envy anyone who doesn't feel edgy. We are an edgy irritable bunch of people in my family, which is why I love my son-in-law so much. He just is so calm and nice all the time. I wonder if he knows what a strength he is to me.

Susan, thyroid is so tricky, the people I know with that problem have such a problem balancing their own body. So I guess you can really relate to this.

I think of Cher a lot these days, she went through this. How hard would that be, to be a public figure?

White Man Retarded said...

I'm thinking of biting the bullet, seeing a doctor, and get a prescription for Lithium. All signs point towards it. As a youth, the depression was romantic, tragic, and so on, but as I get older, it is deeper and more annoying. I want to leave the dark side for a while. And if I don't like happiness, then I could always go back, seeing I function anyway. I was talking to a friend about blogging and I mentioned about how all of these depressed, neurotic LDS people find each other. Isn't that weird? Maybe we're meant to find each other? Is it the Lord's direction?

Stephen M (Ethesis) said...

Omega threes (flax seed, fish oil or walnut oil) are good, as is Arginine an hour or more away from any food, usually right before you go to sleep.

The negative side effect is modest weight loss, so if that is an issue for you (as it was for a friend's daughter who struggled with anorexia), then you want to try something else.

Lots of things it doesn't work for, but it helps some chronic fatigue sufferers.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arginine

Barb said...

Annegb, I think that I can attribute to the fact that I get along with people a lot to the fact that last I knew my blood pressure was a little on the low side. Also, I seldom have pain of any type. My energy levels are usually enough for what I need to do. I am so not stoic so if I have the dullest pain, people know about it!!!!

Patrick, sorry to hear depression is rough for you right now. I have enjoyed happiness and hope you that you are able to find sustained hapiness and enjoy it too!

Ann said...

Re: "falling down on the blogging job"

We love to hear from you. You don't owe us anything. Please take care of yourself first.