Wednesday, June 02, 2010

Welcome Spring

It's an absolutely beautiful day today.  We've had the coldest spring I can remember (although I remember it snowed once the end of June here in southern Utah).  But today is perfect.  Bill has planted flowers all over the place and our trees are brimming with birds--I saw a butterfly out my kitchen window yesterday!

Bill and I haven't had a screaming ugly fight in oh, months.  He gets the credit more than I because he's changed.  He doesn't yell at me much anymore.  He doesn't get that upset.  I think part of that is because we have separate checkbooks and I pay for my own excesses.  So we don't fight about money.  I've just noticed that when I ask him for money (boy that took a long time, I wasn't going to take anything from him at first!) he just gives it to me. 

Our grandson, Maxwell, is here to help Grandpa plant the garden and they're going fishing this afternoon.  Bill is a much better grandfather than he was a father.  When we first married, he was obsessed with his hobbies and disinterested in the kids to a large extent.  Except to yell at them and make them clean up their spilled milk.  I think, too, he was exhausted, coming from the divorce a few years earlier and having to be a Mr. Mom.  Wouldn't all the single moms in the world have loved a wife like I was at first, adoring, waited on him, trying to please him with my every move?

Boy, that girl is long gone :)! 

I'm wondering now if a lot of what we've gone through the last 5 years, aside from my former best friend's son's conviction for sexual molestion and the devastation that caused, has been the result of an empty nest and my horrible perimenopause.  You know, doctors threw lamictal, lithium, and abilify at me like M&M's and diagnosed me with a lot of major psychotic illnesses.  Which the trip to that clinic in California ruled out.

Girls, before you check yourself into the psych unit, consider estrogen, the wonder drug.

I worked last night and work again today, so I'm taking it slow and easy with Bill (off today) bustling circles around me. 

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